August 30, 2013 – I was able to get a call through to my mom for her 70th birthday.  My daughter and sister-in-law are driving down to my moms together to join her for her birthday.  They are taking her out to her favorite restaurant.  Although it was wonderful to speak to my mom and wish her a happy birthday I started thinking about how much I would have liked to be there with her celebrating and rejoicing together.  I love my mom very much and we have drawn closer in our relationship with each other as we have gotten older.  Being so far away from her is extremely difficult.  I asked the Lord to give her a big hug and kiss for me.

September 10, 2013 – Kate called today.  We talked just a week ago, yet I couldn’t help but smile when I heard her voice again.  It has been quite an adjustment not having her here with us.  At times, I half expect her to come out of her room and join us for morning worship.  I miss singing hymns with her.  It is a hard transition going from seeing someone every day to not knowing when you will get to see them again.

September 15, 2013 – Today is my father’s birthday.  My daughter and son-in-law are at his home celebrating with him, his wife and my brother.  It was wonderful to speak with my dad and wish him a happy birthday, but by the end of the phone call I couldn’t prevent breaking down into tears for I longed to be there celebrating with them all.  Phone calls and even skyping can never take the place of leaning your head against your father’s chest and having his arm around you as you share time together.  No.  Although technology is a blessing it will never replace the physical presence of another person.

September 16, 2013 – My daughter called tonight.  I am always excited to hear her voice over the phone.  We got a chance to catch up on what has been going on in each others life lately.  I love talking to my children.  I was doing good with my emotions during our conversation together, but after hanging up I found myself tearing up once again.  I love my children more than they will probably ever understand.  A mom’s love for her children can never be understood until they have their own children.  I have to say, having to depart from my children to enter the mission field is one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.  While my heart continues to hear God’s call to relieve the suffering of humanity here in Mexico, and to point the way to my loving Savior, Jesus Christ, and the eternal home He has prepared for us, where pain and suffering will be no more, being separated from loved ones has not become any less painful.

September 22, 2013 – We have been in the mission field for a year and a half now, and although we have many friends here, on occasion when taking my morning run, I find myself asking the Lord to comfort my heart as I miss many loved ones back in the states.  Relationships are very important to me and are essential in my life.  God created us this way.  The essence of the Trinity shows us this.  Creation reveals this to us.  God is love and can only be defined as love through relationships.  The heartache I experience my Lord knows all about.  For being separated from loved ones is something the Lord is very familiar with.  The reason He gave us Jesus, His Son, was to bridge the gap of separation, made as a result of sin, and is also one of the reasons He gave us the Holy Spirit as our comforter, until His Son can come take us back to our eternal home.  There are hosts of angels in heaven, but God’s heart still aches to have us with Him one day.  I have many people here who are dear to me, but my heart still aches to have my family and friends in the states near to me.  If it were not for the  Comforter I know I could not be so far away away from so many I love.

I have written these entries not because there are not many joyful and fulfilling times here in the mission field.  There are numerous precious moments that remind me as to why I am here.  Every day I am blessed as I encounter beautiful faces that God created beaming with thankfulness as Jesus connects our lives together and a relationship is birthed.  A relationship where Jesus’ love is experienced through acts of compassion and responses of thankfulness.  Wherever relationships are fostered out of care and concern for one another Jesus is at work.  These countless, priceless moments are snapshots in the heavenly books forever and make me very thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be a part of the work He is doing here in Mexico.  I am not sure the heart ache and yearning to be nearer to my loved ones will ever dissipate, but I do know that when my heart begins to ache Jesus will hold me in His arms and comfort me.  I have written these things because they are real moments in the life of this missionary, and to encourage all who are reading this to know where we can receive our comfort from in our times of heartache.  Nothing we go through, my friends, goes   unnoticed by our loving Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is aware of all you are going through…even now.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalm 56:8